Taking the time to think about yourself can be a trying experience it seems for most men. Frankly, I think some of that is good. The amount of diversion and perversion that can happen in the male mind is quite amazing, so developing a habit of keeping busy with worthwhile tasks is a good discipline. In fact, discipline is a good discipline. Titus 2.6 is really funny...read it in context sometime. "Encourage young men to be self-controlled." Period. How great! That really is half the battle for young men nowadays. Which is actually quite interesting. We are saturated with the idea, probably developed from the need for men to be providing for their family, that weakness is not for men, thereby eliminating most emotions. Today, young men have little that they have to do, yet deep emotional introspection is often not kosher. Now, World of Warcraft is the solution to all their problems...
So, I am learning to really be free to be who God created me to be. I am understanding my personality in the context of my call, and I am excited about the limitless world that God is calling me to serve Him in. Yet, I have to learn to go from excited to devoted. Devotion is a willingness to to be committed to something in the deep heart of one's will. That takes learning to be zealous for God's chosen path for me even when I am not excited. Ultimately, I just want to begin to understand myself, see into the depths of my ups and downs, and learn to be OK with all of it because of the stability of being provided for by the vine of Christ.
Colors, smells, sounds. I see, feel, and hear them all more clearly. I want to walk with myself as I walk with God and find the freedom for which Christ has set me free (Galatians 5.1). My new life verse...now let's figure out what it means.
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